How to Write Good...

I read a post by the title "How to Write Good" on the Writer's Digest Community and was motivated to google the topic. After googling "How to Write Good by Frank Visco" I found a government website (really?), plainlanguage.gov that had the following information (basically the same info that was posted on the Writer's Digest Community).  However, I have to say... I was temporarily distracted by the government website. It's tag line says, "Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public." Hmm. If I had more hours in a day, I'd explore that website. Never heard of it before. So, me thinks the communication needs improving!

Anyhooo... here's what I came to re-post (pretty stinkin' funny):

The first set of rules was written by Frank L. Visco and originally published in the June 1986 issue of Writers' digest.

The second set of rules is derived from William Safire's Rules for Writers.

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My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1.Avoid Alliteration. Always.

2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)

4.Employ the vernacular.

5.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8.Contractions aren’t necessary.

9.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.One should never generalize.

11.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

12.Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13.Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

14.Profanity sucks.

15.Be more or less specific.

16.Understatement is always best.

17.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18.One word sentences? Eliminate.

19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.The passive voice is to be avoided.

21.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.Who needs rhetorical questions?



1.Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.

2.It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.

3.Avoid archaeic spellings too.

4.Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.

5.Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.

6.Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.

7.Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.

8.Subject and verb always has to agree.

9.Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.

10.Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.

11.Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.

12.Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

13.Don't never use no double negatives.

14.Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.

15.Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

16.Eschew obfuscation.

17.No sentence fragments.

18.Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.

19.A writer must not shift your point of view.

20.Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

21.Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

22.Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

23.If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

24.Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

25.Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

26.Always pick on the correct idiom.

27.The adverb always follows the verb.

28.Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

29.If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.

30.And always be sure to finish what

A little bit of inspiration... a good thing!

Some days, a little inspiration or a little kick in the pants is SUCH a good thing.

Yesterday, I got a kick in the pants from my good friend Maggie (in New York) who basically said, "Get that book published!" I sighed and said, (insert whiny voice) "I'm trying!" waah. I got of the phone and went back to work revising my revision of a novel I *thought* was already finished! (I am determined to cut out all of the unnecessary words.)  My mantra this week:  "I try to leave out the parts that people skip." ~Elmore Leonard



Today, I started with a little blog hopping. I paused on www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog and read "How I Got My Agent: Kiersten White."

INSPIRATION! YAY!

She sent out 50 letters before snagging an agent. FIFTY! (insert my smile and sigh of relief) AND, now she has a book coming out with HarperTeen, her dream publishing house. MINE TOO!!

So, I thought, maybe she and I should be friends.

I went and checked out her blog:  http://www.kierstenwrites.blogspot.com/  with the full intention of saying, "Hey, loved your article on Guide to Literary Agents... wanna be my friend?" But when I saw how great her blog was (check out the halarious video posted there this week) and saw that she has over 400 blog followers, I thought... maybe I've turned into a stalker? Scary. So, I chickened out and didn't ask her to be my friend. Instead, I became a follower of her blog. I'm a dork.

But at least I'm inspired to finish my revision and send out another batch of letters. I will get an agent and I will get published, hopefully with my dream house: HarperTeen.

Stay off the Internet!

Seriously... the Internet oftens sucks the time right off my clock! I say, "I'm gonna spend just a few minutes researching (yah, right!) blogs and then I'll get to work!" Is it my fault the world suddenly starts spinning faster? Although, I am CERTAIN only minutes have passed, when I look at the clock - BAM! - two hours, gone.

So... in an attempt to achieve a goal, I've stayed off the Internet the last several days (mostly). It's helped, quite a bit (sadly). I love my computer.

None-the-less... I'm continuing with my goal this week. "What's that?" you ask. Let me tell you, briefly, because I have to get off the Internet.

My goal is complete another revision of my debut novel, Manifested. My blog "research" has made it clear that many agents reject based on word count alone. Furthermore, my research indicates my orginal beginning needs to be thrown in the trash (ouch). So... by 1/31/10, I will have cut 25,000 (seriously) words from the original 99,000 word Young Adult manuscript and improved the beginning.

Wanna help? Read the revised first chapter in the "notes" section of the Margo Kelly fanpage on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Margo-Kelly/393322365522?ref=ts
and give me your brutal honest opinion. Personally, I think it still needs to be improved, changed, or trashed... sigh.

Back to work - in the world of Manifested. Oh, by the way, later today or tomorrow, I will put up a new (revised) description of Manifested on the http://www.margokelly.net/ website along with pictures from the Manifested "world." Check back tomorrow for more details.

First Published Piece ...

Today, I thought it would be fun to share with the world my first piece of writing to be published:

Roller Skating

Skating is fun

Skating is neat

Skating fast is hard to beat...

until you fall down

down

down

to the ground.

Ouch.


...............................
Yah, okay. It was written in 1979 when I was in the 4th grade, and it was published in the School's Poetry book - but HEY - it was still selected and published!! That's gotta count for sumthin!

#2 cause of death amongst teenagers...

WOW. Did you know the #2 cause of death amongst teenagers is... HOMICIDE?

I would have guessed car accidents (which turns out to be the #1 cause of death).

I googled it for an answer to a homework question for my son and found three different websites that agreed on the same information. Hmm.

Makes me curious to know more about the homicides. Are they accidental shootings (kids playing with guns), gang shootings (centralized in certain states), or murders (the intentional killing of a victim, or school shootings)?

Do you have teenagers and guns in your house?

Maybe the homicides are not committed with guns. Maybe knives? I think guns.

Mental Health Crisis Hotline...

“How about instead of writing a book you write down the number of a Mental Health Crisis Hotline” Therejectionist.com

Thanks... just the moral support I needed (not)... TheRejectionist.com refuses to "...tell you how to write a book, dole out the milk of human kindness, or hold your little Author-hands."

Why do I continue to read the content of their site? I actually find it highly motivating. When someone tells me I "can't" - - my gut reaction is, "Really? Watch me!"

So, while I very well may need mental health help, I'm still going to write another book.

Clicked "Send & Receive" Again!

Sometimes I don't even wait thirty seconds before hitting the "send/receive" button again. Sounds obsessive, eh? Well, I have an agent reading my finished manuscript titled "Manifested" right now. Her website says I should wait eight weeks before following up with her. Well, Sunday (that's two days away) will be the eight week mark.

As the mark draws closer, I keep thinking, "Surely, today will be the day I hear back from her." So, I click send/receive, again, in my Outlook Express. Nothing. (Well, there's other "stuff" that arrives in my email of course, but there's only one thing I'm really looking for in that inbox!)

Of course, most "success stories" tell how the agent PHONES the writer if interested in the manuscript. So, when the phone interrupted our family dinner this week (multiple times), I hopped right up and said to my family, "It could be my agent calling!" Nope. Not her.

Not yet!

So, Monday, I will write the dreaded follow-up email. Yes, dreaded. Why? Because so far, when I've written the dreaded follow-up email for previous query letters, an instant response followed: "Not interested."

Which amazes me... could they have not typed those two words weeks earlier and put me out of my misery of waiting? Sheesh.

Well, I should stop typing this post so that I can go click send/receive again. Maybe this time there will be an email from her. Maybe...

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Mmm... have you ever been the the Hershey website? The home page at http://www.hersheys.com/ has a picture of brownies drizzled with fudge sauce and sprinkled with powdered sugar... and the headline says, "Have a Healthy New Year!"

Really? Come on. Maybe if you believe in moderation and self-control. Me? I'm a bit more on the obsessive side of life.

I'm sitting here eating Reese's Miniature Peanut Butter Cups surfing the web looking for pictures of chocolate... moderation is definitely not my thing.


Plus, wanna know what? It was really hard (for me) to find a picture of these sweet little treats to post on my blog tonight. Weird, huh? I couldn't find them listed on the Hershey website AT ALL!



They had:

1. The traditional Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (2/pack)
2. Reese's Pieces
3. Reese's Fastbreak (didn't even know there was one)
4. Reese's BIG CUP (the peanut butter lover's cup) ha.
5. Reese's Whipps (40% less fat) ha.
6. Reese's Sticks (blech)
7. Reese's Crispy Crunchy Bar (hmm, interesting...)
8. NutRageous
9. WHITE Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (blasphemous)
10. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Caramel (hmm, sounds confusing)
11. Reese's Select Clusters
12. Reese's Select Cremes
13. DARK Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

The headline reads "Access to All Things Reese's" - - Nuh uh. You're missing my FAVORITE!

Reese's Miniatures are for those of us who like more chocolate and less peanut butter. Makes me want to give one of the characters in my WIP (work in progress) a chocolate problem. Then I could describe all the different kinds of Reese's products she likes. That could be funny.

Bored? Eat a Reese's MINIATURE Peanut Butter Cup. I'm gonna go write chocolate into my manuscript.

Resources for Writers

There are so many great resources for writers out on the web. I have to be careful and limit my time each day to reading this valuable information online, because it cuts into ACTUAL writing time. And, as I understand it, if you want to be a writer, you need to WRITE!


 With that said, I have to tell you about two of my favorite online writing resources (links below on the sidebar to both sites).




1. Flogging the Quill - I have learned a great deal about the importance of your first 16 lines from the real life examples on this website. I have even submitted the beginning of my current work in progess to him - for public flogging. YIKES! He said it will be about four weeks before my piece makes it onto the site. So, I will keep you posted. In the meantime, check out his site.

2. Kidlit - Even if you don't write for the Young Adult or Children's market, you should check out this site. She shares SO MANY great writing, revising, and agent seeking tips that are applicable to all writers. She is currently offering a contest this month. Check it out: http://kidlit.com/kidlit-contest/

Now, stop surfing the web, and get back to work (talking to myself). :)

Flash Fiction

What is Flash Fiction?

To quote http://www.flashfictiononline.com/ - "They’re very short, but they are still stories. That means the best ones have strong, interesting characters, plots, and (to some extent, at least) settings."

...not to mention a beginning, middle, and end! Ha.

When I first read the description of Flash Fiction, I thought, "RIGHT!" But, it became and excellent exercise in editing. I've learned so much just from the few pieces of Flash Fiction I've written so far.

Read my first, titled "Never Hit a Woman" at: http://www.margokelly.net/neverhitawoman.htm

Post your comments.

Papyrus versus Times New Roman

All over the internet - editors' blogs, agencys' websites, and/or publishers' contest rules - you will find that they ask for "standard" formatting for your submission.

For example: "Please format with double spacing, 12-point font Times New Roman font, 1-inch margins." (from Flogging the Quill, link below).

And, they take their fonts VERY seriously.

I was reading therejectionist.com (not my favorite site, but eye opening, nonetheless) and saw a link titled: "what is possibly the best font joke in the entire history of the universe" - - and I couldn't help myself. I clicked on it.

Good gracious. Really? It was a long blog post about the movie AVATAR with 177 comments following it up. No, it wasn't a movie review. It was a post that went on and on about how the FONT chosen for the title of the movie and the subsequent subtitles ruined the entire movie. Really? I thought it was the naked blue boobs that ruined the movie for me. Apparently, I got it wrong. It was the FONT. *head slap*

Here's just one of the 177 comments from that amazing nutso post:

"In response to Lamar's comment, I typed out AVATAR in Papyrus and I do believe the movie uses Papyrus, but it is highly edited to get rid a lot of the grunge. If you look at the curves in the T and R in particular, you'll see almost identical curves to them, also the designer detached the connecting lines in the A's an R, as well as adding little serifs on all of the letters. And even if I am wrong, I have no idea what designer would choose a font that was so close to Papyrus that everyone would think that it is Papyrus."

Really? I hope the use of Papyrus in Avatar didn't keep these 177 people up all night long. Get a grip.

Here's my idea of a funny font joke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHCu28bfxSI

What's your favorite font? What?! You've never even considered the question? Well think about it and post it in the comments below. (for the fun heck of it)

Or do you have a funnier font "joke" than the ones above?

Sheesh.

A Career in Writing?

Why would it be scary to announce to the world my desire for a career in writing? Well, seriously, when you take a personal goal and make it public knowledge, you risk failing publicly. But, on the flip side, making a goal public knowledge can lead to public support and even assistance in achieving that goal.

So, I ask for your support!


Follow my blog (see link below).
Follow me on Twitter (see link below).
Become a fan of the Margo Kelly fanpage on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com//#/pages/Margo-Kelly/393322365522?ref=ts

And, check out my website: http://www.margokelly.net/

Going Green

It's a good thing so many agents in the publishing industry accept manuscripts via email these days. We need to kill less trees.

Here's a picture of my husband's truck loaded to the brim with Christmas trees.

Yup... trees.

Where did they all come from and where are they going?

There was a Christmas tree lot near our home. The day after Christmas, these people (along with their trucks, trailers, campers, poles, lights, and satellite dish) were gone. Piles of trees remained.

The young men at our church are having a bon fire for an activity (tonight, actually) and so my son tracked down the "owners" of the fallen, abandoned, left-behind trees and asked if he could have them. The owner said, "Please, take them all."

My darling husband and son loaded UP the truck.

The trees will be burned for "fun" by a bunch of youth tonight while they look on and eat donuts.

It's a good thing I didn't need those trees to produce paper... to print my manuscript... to submit to agents.

I need to sharpen my axe.

So, I wrote a book called Manifested. It's great (yah, yah, in my humble opinion).

While I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, I'm certainly not the dullest; and better yet, I know how to sharpen my axe. Meaning: whatever I don't know, I research and learn.

I honestly thought I had adequately researched the writing, revising, query-ing, and publishing process. However, the scary thing is, the more I research, the more I realize how much I don't know.

This whole process is like putting a puzzle together, but the pieces are constantly in motion. Each time I get a new piece to the puzzle and figure out where it belongs in the big picture, the other pieces have moved again. Oh my.

Most recent realization: my word count is too high. When I originally researched word counts (back in February 2009) I did so based on general adult length books. I did not realize when I started down this path that I was writing a Young Adult book. Thanks to great websites like Kidlit and Guide to Literary Agents, I've come to realize that there are different word counts. Duh. Furthermore, thanks to Kidlit, I've come to realize that many of my rejections may have been based on my word count alone. Sheesh.

I'm off to sharpen my axe ...




Here's the Kidlit post on word count: http://kidlit.com/2009/11/13/manuscript-length/
Here's the guide to Literary Agents post: http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/CategoryView,category,WordCount.aspx

Writing...

Many agent and publisher blogs comment that a writer must write a million words (good or bad) before they really become publishable.

Well, whether it is a fact or not, I've started counting.

Okay. Not really. That'd be crazy.

However, it did occur to me while flipping through my first (seriously) copy of Writer's Digest Magazine that I should take advantage of the writing prompts. At first I thought writing prompts were crazy. We are not in school anymore. But, then (because sometimes it takes me awhile to get the point) I realized, "AH! If I want to be physically fit, I must exercise. So, if I want to be a great writer, I should exercise my writing ability." Duh!

I thought it would be fun to share those writing exercises here - - and invite you to share your results as well.

Here was the basic challenge from Writer's Digest, page 11 from the January 2010 issue:
A Date Derailed; start the story with "No matter what I do..."; include the phrase "A penny saved is a penny earned" somewhere in the story; take ten minutes to write the story.

Now - before you read MINE - go write yours. Then read mine and share yours in the comment section.

Mine took

11minutes 45seconds 12/30/09




“No matter what I do, she won’t return my phone calls,” Jason moaned. His head sagged to his chest.

“Dude, lighten up. It’s just one girl. Move on,” Hunter said and shoved Jason hard. So, hard, Jason lost his balance and fell off his stool.

“Unnecessary,” Jason got up off the diner’s floor and brushed himself off. Jason slid back onto his stool and fingered his French Fries. With two fries in his mouth and one in his hand, Jason wrote Julie’s name in ketchup on his barren plate.

“Dude, you are messed up,” Hunter said eyeing Jason’s plate.

“Shut up.” The waitress stopped in front of them, totaled their bill, and slipped it on to the counter. Jason pushed the bill towards Hunter. “Your turn.”

“Nuh-uh.” Hunter pushed the bill back towards Jason. Jason tried to push it back but Hunter kept his hand in place.

Jason said, “Man, you have to get the bill this time. I’m broke. My date Friday night with Julie wiped me clean. She refused to pay for anything.”

“She wasn’t supposed to pay, dork. It was a date. You asked her out. You were supposed to pay for everything. Did you seriously ask her to pay for stuff on the date?”

“Yah,” Jason said pausing to consider Hunter’s advice. “I figured a penny saved is a penny earned.”

“No wonder she won’t return your phone calls. You’re a cheap skate! And a lousy date,” Hunter said as he grabbed the bill.

“I figured if I saved money on the date, I could afford to go out with her on a second date.”

“Dude, face it. There will be no second date for you.”

____________

Now post your 10 minute writing exercise in the comments.

For more writing prompts visit: http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts

Reading...

Truly, Madly by Heather Webber
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely loved it! If you like the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich, I think you'll like this new series by Heather Webber.

It was a quick and easy read (no literary scholar here), but it was a fun and pleasurable. When I read, I read for pleasure, not for education or to challenge my I.Q. This book was fun!

Lucy Valentine is from a long line of match-makers. They are successful matchmakers because they can see people's auras and match them according to the color of their auras. However, Lucy was zapped by electricity and lost the ability to see auras. Oops. Furthermore, because of the "zap" her ability changed to one where she can find people's lost objects (not people or animals, just objects) when she shakes their hands. This leads to great adventure and mysteries.

At first, I worried that the author had too many different plots going. I wasn't sure I could keep track of all the different lines - but they all turned out to serve a purpose and she wrapped up all the loose ends.

The language was mostly clean (a few light cuss words). There were no detailed sex scenes.

If you are looking for a light fun read - get this book. My copy was an advance reader's copy. The book will be on sale for everyone in February 2010.

If you love reading, join me on Goodreads.com - - my favorite book website.

View all my reviews >>

Eating

Well, the blog header suggests that I love to eat. So, let me tell you about the food item closest (physically) to me. Tootsie Pops. Yup.

In my quest for a literary agent, I would update my family by hollering, "Got another rejection!" My daughter, who has a great positive attitude scolded me one day and said, "Mom, you need to use a different word. If you focus on the word 'rejection' you'll get more rejections." So, I thought about that. Of course, I do NOT want more rejections. That sucks.

So, I was thinking about how many agents a writer (specifically ME) has to go through to find the right match.

Which in my head, immediately made me think of food - and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Hmm. Strategy formed. I now have a jar next to my computer and a file in Excel. Everytime I hear back from a prospective agent with anything less than a "YES" I count it as one of the necessary licks to get to the center of the literary world. I add a Tootsie Pop to my jar and notate it appropriately in my Excel file.

Then, when I am actively working on a project, whether it be a short story, writing exercise, or my next novel, I get to eat as many Tootsie Pops out of the jar as my creativity and self esteem require.