Perfectionist?

Great post over on: Jane Friedman's "There are No Rules" blog.


I often joke that I'm a recovering perfectionist currently in a treatment program.

While writing the first draft of my first manuscript, I had a daily, hourly, sometimes minute-by-minute mantra. "It's okay if my writing sucks, just get it on paper. Just get it on paper."  I think "just getting it on paper" is crucial for the first draft of any manuscript.

There's a time and place for perfectionism, and that's during the revision process. I've gained a new respect for the process of refining, improving, and polishing the manuscript. Little details and big plot arcs need to be looked at and cleaned up for the manuscript to be great.

However, there has to come a point (this is where I am now) that the writer has to realize everyone who reads the manuscript is going to have a differing opinion and revision suggestions. The writer (ME!) has to decide when the manuscript is "finished" and start the query process.

I know several writers who have never submitted their work to an agent because they don't want it rejected or because they think there is still room for improvement. That's where perfectionism becomes a hinderance.

Pick a different "P" word. Switch to persistence and leave perfectionism in the closet.

photo credit: paradiseclosets.com

Teenage Violence

They're saying on the news this morning that kids today have no relationship skills and that they've become calloused toward violence.  The sheriff of Broward County, Florida, says that when he was a kid his dad told him "you don't hit girls" and that when he was a kid they didn't text each other.  There's no interpersonal relationships anymore, so it's easier for the youth of today to be violent toward each other.  They also had a "bullying" expert on during the same report. She said that there is an absense of relationship skills and it's not fair to expect families to teach this because they're not doing it. Schools should be teaching relationship skills to kids. 

Okay... Really? I could spend the entire day researching the actual documented statistics on this topic. I find it THAT interesting. However, I already have a to-do list for the day, and there's no space to add another item. However, I do have a few minutes to google the topic.

First let me clarify by saying, my heart goes out to the victims of crime. I'm not mocking or minimizing the problem. I'm addressing the statements made above on the news this morning. I don't think the teenagers are the sole source of the problem.

So, here goes:

Let's start at the top. If I had to guess, I'd say the sheriff is in his late 50's early 60's which means he was a teenager in the 1960's. Okay. Off the top of my head, I think of "free-love," drugs, hippies, and the Vietnam war. But, when I attempt to do a quick google search for teenage violence statistics during that time period, I came up blank.

However, I did find this:

Bashing Youth

Media Myths About Teenagers

By Mike Males

"Why are adult contexts, common to media reports on youth prior to the 1970s, only rarely cited today? Because that would prevent adolescents from serving as the latest scapegoats for problems that affect society in general.

"And there is a subtler reason: The interests circulating negative images of teens want the source of malaise located within youth, where it can be "treated" by whatever solutions the publicizing interest groups profit from, rather than in unhealthy environments whose upgrading will require billions of dollars in public spending. Thus short-term political and corporate profit lies not in fixing environments, but in fixing kids."

http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1224

I think this article clearly states how I'm feeling about the topic. Instead of bashing and blaming the youth of today, we should hold the adults more accountable. It IS the responsibility of the parents to raise their children. I understand the whole "it takes a village" concept, and I support that idea. However, too many adults are too quick to blame the youth of today for problems that they are actually victims of rather than the source of.

 

The youth of today are AWESOME. Yah, sure there are a few that I'd like to whack upside the head when they make silly choices. But, hey... making dumb choices is a part of being a teenager. Part of growing up and figuring out who you are. We all went through it.

 

Yes, the few violent exceptions will be the ones focused on in the media. But, the bottom line is: the youth of today are AWESOME! They deal with so much more than we ever did and they are handling it valiantly.

 

Kids of today are not any different than they were when we were teenagers. Their environment is different. With our support and guidance, the majority of today's teenagers will be just fine. Let's give them some positive feedback. Not all this media hype of how "calloused" and violent they are today.

Cutting the Dead Weight

Ah, blackberries. Love them. We make blackberry jam, pie, syrup, muffins, pancakes, cookies, and more. Luckily, we have a productive bush in our backyard. 

Some people will claim that a blackberry bush is nothing more than an intrusive weed. Well, it can be, if it's not properly tended.

In order to keep the bush under control and in order to keep it producing each year, the dead weight must be cut back while the bush is dormant.  That's a tough job.

Anyone who's ever picked blackberries knows the bush (in it's natural form) is spiked with needle like thorns. The torns are not only on the branches, but they can also be found on the underside of the leaves.  The only thing worse than being stabbed by a blackberry bush thorn while picking, is being stabbed by the hardened dried-out thorns when the bush is dormant.

Cutting the dead weight is necessary.  Leaving the excess branches makes the bush bulkier, not healthier or more productive.  The excess branches make it harder to find the valuable fruit. If the fruit is harder to pick, less will be picked. The workers may even give up and never finish finding the fruit. It's just too hard.

Relate this to editing your manuscript. The dead weight, the excess branches, need to be cut. The extra words in your story make it tough for the reader to find the gems of your story. Some readers may give up, because it's just too much work.

Cut the dead weight. When your writing is lighter, it may produce more valuable gems.

Books and the Digital World

Do a little blog hopping, and you'll find a ton of information about the digital world and its influence on the book industry. What's the future of publishing? is the question on many people's minds.

Well, with all this talk and "advancement" (iPad, Kindle, Vook, etc.) I was shocked to learn that the Idaho Commission for the Blind and Visually Impaired is extremely behind in technology. And, I guess it's a national issue. Did you know that audio books for the Visually Impaired are still on CASSETTE TAPE?! With all of the fancy new digital advances, disabled people are using big heavy cassette players that weigh a ton (okay, maybe not a ton, but they are heavy!), and the players are larger than a shoebox!

The wonderfully nice lady I spoke with at the Talking Books program said that they do have new digital players and they are starting to distribute them, but they have limited quanitites and not very many book choices are available yet. The digital players are about 6"x9"x1/2" (I haven't seen it yet). This is so much more reasonable. At least with this size, my son (16 years old) could take it in his back pack and use headphones to listen to an audio book while at school or at a debate competition. But, we haven't received one yet, and the book choices are limited.

A government worker stopped by yesterday to interview my son to determine his eligibility for the programs offered by the Commisssion. My son is very much into computers and current technology. The government worker said that "Accessible Technology" (technology usable by the disable) is at least six months behind current technology. And, when "AT" becomes available, it often doesn't work with many computers because the computers have already been updated with the newest version of Windows, Vista, or what-not, making the new AT program unusable.

Mitchell was given a computer program that he can use to highlight text on the computer that is too small for him to read easily and the computer program will read it out loud to him. Except for websites. The program can't read HTML. Well, where do most high school kids do research for their classes? On the internet.

We're trying to get Mitch a "504 Accommodation" for school that would provide him with larger print text books, audio books, and such. Resources are limited. Many libraries don't carry large print or audio in the needed titles, and if they do, there's only one copy. It's checked out. Get on the waiting list. Get the item. You only have two weeks to utilize it. If you're a teenager trying to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" for literature class, that's not going to work very well.

Having a child with vision issues makes me look upon books and the digital world in a new light.

Many people in the industry are so focused (pun?) on improving the publishing industry for people who have no problem reading an old fashioned book - - just trying to make it cooler, easier, and more fun to read a book. Why not spend a little bit of that time, energy, and money making a book (digital, audio, or otherwise) that the visually impaired can enjoy as well?

Black Sabbath

Here's my big ball of fur. Sabbath. Love him. Even if the U.P.S. man doesn't. HA.

Point of View

First person. Third person.

First person is easier to write (imho).

However, with a single first person point of view, you run the chance of missing a lot of important information. For example:

My dog Sabbath is a huge ball of loveable fur. He weighs nearly eighty pounds, but the cuddly long haired beast is halarious. I believe he is actually a happy playful human toddler rolling around in a dog's body. His tongue hangs out of the side of his mouth and his tail knocks items off the table. I crack up laughing in the morning when he comes bounding into my room to say, "Hello." He tries so hard to get up on the bed (remember, he's so big, his wagging tail knocks items off the table), and yet the big dog still can't figure out how to lift himself up. He'll get his front two paws up on the bed and look at me. He wags his tail and uses all of his strength to pull himself up. I have snags on my bed covers to prove it. Sometimes, he'll leave the room and come back with a running start and jump full speed onto the bed. I duck and cover. He lands on me and licks my face and cuddles into me. I laugh more and he licks more. It's a great way to start the day. I can't say he's so gentle he wouldn't hurt a fly, because he does hurt flies. HA. If a fly gets into the house, Sabbath becomes single minded until he has caught (ate) that fly. :)

Change in point of view:

I was standing at the reception desk in my chiropracter's office when the U.P.S. man came in. Same U.P.S. man that has come to my house for years. Since before we got Sabbath. We made small talk and explained to the receptionist how we knew each other. I commented that he was awesome because he always sets the heavy packages inside for me. "Not anymore," he said. I asked, "What do you mean?" "Not since you got that huge mean dog." I thought for a second and realized he hadn't brought a package inside my house in a long time. "I drop the box and run, now," he said. "That dog looks like he'll come right through the window at me." I felt a little embarrased as I realized he had a different point of view of Sabbath than I did.

Writing exercise:
Utilize the U.P.S. man's point of view delivering a package to a house with a large black eighty pound dog. The dog barks and presses against the window. What does the man do and think? What does the dog do? U.P.S. man says he's been bitten several times and ONLY by the dogs whose owner said, "Oh, he's so gentle. He'd never bite anyone." Yah, right! The U.P.S. man has strong legs, because he's learn to run. Fast.

Happiness

Twenty minutes well spent. Watch the video. :)



Thank you http://janefriedman.com/blog/

Writing Advice

Uh huh... and then when I receive advice like this from five different people in one day, I think, "Really? And I want to write?" Yes. Yes, I do! :)

Six impossible things...

This morning I found an absolutely inpiring blog post, and it was just what I needed today.

Read the Writer Unboxed post.



Here's my list of what I was told I could never do (and yet I've already done each):

1. Graduate from college
2. Travel to foreign countries
3. Put a criminal in jail
4. Homeschool my children
5. Stay married
6. Walk thirty miles in three days

Here's my list of what I want to do now:

1. Get an agent
2. Publish a debut novel that is told from multiple points of view
3. Become a national best seller
4. Experience financial abundance
5. Help my three kids finish college
6. Stay married

What are six impossible things you would like to accomplish? Go for it!

Back on the wagon?

My son came home from school one day and said, "Hey Mom, guess what?"

I (like a good mom) said, "What?"

He smiled (thank heavens he's utilizing all those dollars spent at the orthodontist's office). "I have A.D.D.O.S."

"What?" I said, again. I leaned in and used more energy to focus on his words. Maybe my ears needing cleaning or maybe he needed speech therapy, but I couldn't understand what he said.

He used his hands to empasize his words. He said, "I have A.D.D.O.S." He paused dramatically and then continued, "Attention Deficit Disor-" His eyes shifted to the window next to me as he said, "OH SHINY!"

Since I'm slow, he had to explain it to me. But, once I got it, I laughed. It was funny...

Today, I realize I must have A.D.D.O.S. syndrome, because I've been terribly distracted from the writing process. My goal is to be a published (mainstream) author, and yet, what have I been writing lately? Well, I've mostly been writing my name as I've signed various pieces of paperwork for the kids' school stuff, writing my name on checks as I've paid bills, and writing my name as I've volunteered myself to do things for other people.

I need to refocus and climb back on the wagon. I've clearly fallen off it. I'm amazed at how many moms still find the time to write when there are so many other responsibilties to take care of as well. And, for those of us who also work a job to bring in an income (besides writing)... well, we need more hours in the day! Or, a personal chef and a maid and a taxi service.

Hmm, Inspiring!

Check out this guest post... now I have another book to add to my "must-read" list! :)

A Sanctuary Of Self Acceptance