Thursday, March 31, 2011

Well ... I finally finished this tiny little book.


While hard to read (because reading rules causes my brain to fall asleep), I really did enjoy this book UNTIL I reached the last section titled "An Approach to Style." If I understand correctly, this last section was written by White, while the rest was written by Strunk. This disappointed me, because this last chapter was the one I most looked forward to reading.

The majority of the book is a list of rules, boring to read but very helpful to someone wanting to improve their writing skills.

Now, I am the FIRST to admit my writing skills are not perfect. Frankly, nothing about me is perfect ... but I'm working on it!

But, the last chapter of this book was written with such snobbery, I wanted to chuck it across the room, scrunch up my face, and yell, "Are you kidding me?" So glad this chapter was last and not first.

Anyhow ... wanna know why it ticked me off?

I have a business degree. Business in my bones. Salesperson by nature. And, this last chapter suggests that people in advertising and business do not "...use the language well..." (page 82).

Here's an exerpt:
"People in business say that toner cartridges are in short supply, that they have updated the next shipment of these cartridges, and that they will finalize their recommendations at the next meeting of the board. They are speaking a language familiar and dear to them. Its portentous nouns and verbs invest ordinary events with high adventure; executives walk among toner cartridges, caparisoned like knights. We should tolerate them - every person of spirit wants to ride a white horse" (page 82).

The author then goes on to explain how "finalize" is not a standard word, calling it a "peculiarly fuzzy and silly word."

Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously?

Then this morning, I went onto a business website and placed an order for my business. I clicked on the button that said, "Finalize Order." While I hesitated before clicking, I shook my head at Strunk and White, because the meaning of "finalize" seemed perfectly clear to me, but then, I have a business degree. So, I must be pretending to be a knight on a horse as I click the finalize button.

I will continue to improve my writing skills, employing much of what I learned from this book ... but give me a break. Writing is supposed to be a pleasure for writers, not merely a diagnostic chore.

Ack.

What's the best most frustrating book you've read on the craft of writing?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Spring Break

What does Spring Break mean to you? Vacation? Memories of vacations? Spring cleaning? Kids out of school?

Well ... here's what we've been doing this week:

1. My 14-yr-old daughter "dog-sits" to earn money. So, she has been babysitting two wiener dogs (is that what they're really called?), two guinea pigs, another dog of unknown breed, and a large fish (for reals). Plus, we have a giant dog of our own. Our house feels like a pet store.

2. My 17-yr-old son has been bit by the cooking bug this week. So, he's been selecting recipes (about four at a time), going to the grocery store on his own, and making yummy food for us. So far, he's made (from-scratch-home-made) cinnamon rolls, crab-apple salad (but there's neither crab nor apples in it), marinated white-bbq chicken, and breakfast burritos. Next, he plans on making bbq beef sandwiches, chicken-broccoli braid, craisin-almond salad, and something else I can't recall off the top of my head.

3. House cleaning ... we started ... but then got distracted by a movie marathon. Red-box is our friend.

4. My other son has been working endlessly to get caught up on school work that he fell behind on - - bummer for him. But, he has had a good attitude about it.

Anyhow ... what are you doing for spring break?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

CRAFT: Word Usage

Follow up from yesterday's post ... let's look at some commonly misused words and phrases.

Borrowed from THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE by Strunk and White, pages 44-56:

Disinterested. Means "impartial." Do not confuse it with uninterested, which means "not interested in."

-ize. Do not coin verbs by adding this tempting suffix. Many good and useful verbs do end in -ize: summarize, fraternize, harmonize, fertilize. But there is a growing list of abominations: containerize, prioritize, finalize, to name three.

Nauseous. Nauseated. The first means "sickening to contemplate"; the second means "sick at the stomach." Do not, therefore, say, "I feel nauseous," unless you are sure you have that effect on others.

People. A word with many meanings. ... The word people is best not used with words of number, in place of persons. If of "six people" five went away, how many would be left? Answer: one people.

...
A note from Margo: If you found any of these interesting or eye opening, I highly recommend this book! Many points are obvious to me, but I am shocked at how many "rules" I did not know before reading this book. Hmm. Maybe these are the types of little errors the agents quickly spot in novice query letters and submissions?

Monday, March 28, 2011

CRAFT: Word Usage

Well, I'm back to reading my favorite book on grammar and style ... but, I can only take it in small doses! It may take me a year to finish this little book.

I laughed so many times today while reading the section on misused words and expressions that I just had to share a few of the funniest. Tomorrow, I will share a few of the misused that caught me by surprise!

Borrowed from pages 50-57 of:

Prestigious. Often an adjective of the last resort. It's in the dictionary, but that doesn't mean you have to use it.

In terms of. A piece of padding usually best omitted.

Insightful. The word is a suspicious overstatement for "perceptive." If it is to be used at all, it should be used for instances of remarkably penetrating vision. Usually, it crops up merely to inflate the commonplace.

Thanking you in advance. This sounds as if the writer meant, "It will not be worth my while to write to you again."

...
And, a note from Margo: In terms of prestigious commentary, I thought these guidelines were very insightful. I thank you in advance for reading this post.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Crusader Challenge #2: Micro-Flash Fiction

Ha - - wasn't sure I'd be able to get this challenge done in time! But here it is, a super short story in less than 100 words.

A FRIEND FOR SABBATH

The goldfish bowl teetered when Sabbath, a giant black Newfoundland, slammed into the table. His paws found no grip on the hardwood floors. Water from the bowl sloshed up and out, but the bowl settled, the fish safe.  Sabbath pulled long scratches into the floor with his nails as he launched in the other direction, determined to catch his new friend. Foamy drool dripped from his tongue as he barreled across the room after him, but Sabbath crashed into the leather sofa as the Chihuahua jumped up. The Chihuahua smiled as he rode the couch across the room.


Parent Teacher Conferences

Holy Hannah. Parent Teacher Conferences.

When my kids were in elementary school, we made appointments to sit down and visit with their teachers.

Then I homeschooled for many years. Those were the EASIEST parent teacher conferences - EVER!

Now, all three of my kids are in public high school, and p/t conferences are open house style where you may have to stand in line for QUITE awhile before you can actually speak to the teacher.

Patience is NOT my virtue.

But ... I did it anyway ... because I love my little baby children. Okay, they're not babies anymore. But boy does it feel great to hear such nice things about your children ... well, except when the math teacher said one of my kids has a 51%. That wasn't nice. Or when an English teacher told me my other child was socially awkward. That wasn't nice. But other than that - - it was great! My children are perfect.

Right?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Book Review: SAPPHIQUE by Catherine Fisher

Sapphique (Incarceron, #2)Sapphique by Catherine Fisher


My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Well ... I might have a new favorite author. WOW! I just think Fisher's world building skills are wonderful. I was drawn into the book and loved every moment of it. I couldn't figure out what was going to happen until it happened, and I couldn't read fast enough!

I wish I knew someone who'd finished it already, so I could discuss it and make sure I understand the ending! :)

My only complaint would be regarding the short POV sections. It felt a bit soap-opera-ish in the speed changing from one point-of-view to another. But frankly, that just made me read faster.

And, I'm not sure the right girl ended up with Finn, and I'm not sure the prison situation was resolved the way I wanted it ... BUT I LOVED IT!!

I'm sad I don't have more pages to read. I suppose I will need to read her other books!


View all my reviews

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hurry! Only Two Days to Cast Your Vote!

ACK! Who knew?!

My short story: NEVER HIT A WOMAN has made it to the final five of the Hone Your Skills Blogfest!

Please vote for my story!

CLICK HERE to VOTE - - voting spot is located on the sidebar of Rosie's Blog

Click here to read my story - -  just in case you want to make an informed decision before voting - ha!

Voting is open now until 11:59pm Thursday (EAST COAST time - - that means 9:59pm IDAHO time!). So, be safe and go vote NOW! :)

THANKS people. You're the best!

... and ... how can I help YOU today? :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Little Advice from Mother Teresa

The only way to be happy and successful;
Do it Anyway


People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten;
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-- Mother Teresa


btw ... I have floundered in my blog-festing / blog-hopping skills lately. Too many life activities happening all at once. I will IMPROVE! :) If I haven't visited your blog recently, leave a comment, and I will visit right away!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Blogfest: Show Me the Voice!


Ha, coincidence that my last post was on the craft of voice, and now today, here's a blogfest on the same topic!

Well, the amazing Brenda Drake is hosting a BLOGFEST judged by agent Natalie Fischer. Cool, eh?

Here are the first 250 words from my finished manuscript, THE EDUCATION OF THIA (working title ... I'm considering changing it, but I'm having trouble deciding! Ack.)

Since the contest is based on VOICE - - let me know what you think:

Some old dead guy once said a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step. Obviously. I only wish I’d noticed sooner where my steps were taking me. One of those first course-altering steps happened on a cold November morning.

My best friend, Janie, arrived at my house later than usual to walk to the bus stop. She chattered on about her new fluffy snow white parka. Her words bounced in rhythm with her black ringlets, and even though she had a hood, she would never smash her perfect curls just to stay warm. The crisp air made the tip of her nose red, but the rest of her face remained alabaster white. She continued to talk as fast as she walked. I simply smiled and nodded. We’d been best friends for years, and at thirteen, having a friend made riding the bus bearable – on a normal day.

We arrived at the bus stop and scanned over a dozen people for Tim and Josh. They stood on the other side of the group. Tim shoved Josh jokingly, and a cloud of white air escaped his mouth as he laughed. He glanced in my direction, and his smile paused. His blue eyes made my heart accelerate. Tim looked cuter than ever with his bomber hat and rosy cheeks.

Janie whacked me on the hip. “Omigosh, Thia. Here they come. Smile.”

While Janie hoped Josh and Tim would ask us to the upcoming school dance, I hoped to speak to Tim without sounding like a complete dope.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Craft: VOICE

Tough one.

Tougher yet: young adult voice. It comes easily to some wonderful writers. For me, after working at it and researching it, I'm wondering if it's something I can master or not. Some people say, just remember back to when you were a teen. But, it occurs to me after reading many insightful posts, maybe I never had a "teen voice" ... even when I was a teen.

Because, according to this AWESOME post by Natalie Fischer, Click Here for Her Post, YA voice isn't JUST about the WORDS ... it's also about the view. For example, Natalie says, "YA voices are very ego-centric." Which is stereo-typically true. Teens see the world and how it affects them personally. Where more mature adults see the world and consider how it affects everyone. (But, I know many adults who also see the world in an ego-centric way!)

Another great post on writing YA voice can be found HERE at DearEditor.com. This post instructs us that the voice comes through the details noticed by the character. The little things.

My infantile opinion? It's all these things and more.

How will I ever master it? Practice ... I suppose!

Do you have a great tip or link to share regarding the topic of YA Voice?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Why do I Write?

Have you ever really considered WHY you need to write?

Well, one reason FOR SURE, for me, is to be able to freely say what I WANT to say (even if it is to fictional characters!).

Friday morning I Googled the politically correct way to type a resignation letter. In the process, I read some pretty funny (and inappropriate) example letters, as well as the proper ones. I still think everyone should be able to just say what they really mean ... like: you suck, I quit Thank you for the opportunity. And, I certainly wouldn't want to burn any bridges say anything mean  miscommunicate. So, instead I typed a very formal (and so not me) letter. Talk about VOICE (or, lack of ...). ha.

Anyway, good news: I will have more time to spend with my children write.

What is one reason you write?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hone Your Skills Blogfest

Charity Bradford is hosting a blogfest! Check it out: charitywrites.blogspot.com



The challenge is to post a piece of flash fiction (a story told in less than 1000 words) and then critique the other participants. So, feel free to be brutual, but make it constructive. And, maybe just ... enjoy!



NEVER HIT A WOMAN
by
Margo Kelly

Michael’s mother carried her handbag in the crook of her arm and tugged Michael along, gripping his ear with her hand. Michael looked up at her as she strode out of the principal’s office. She smiled and greeted each person they passed in the hall. He stumbled when his oversized sneaker snagged the tattered hem of his pants leg, but his mother kept him upright with her firm grip on his ear. She continued her smooth stride out the elementary school’s main door, wearing her platform shoes and short tight skirt. Her bleached blond hair glistened in the humid Georgia sunshine, but not a drop of perspiration escaped her tight face.

She marched him to the car, parked cockeyed, and released Michael’s ear. He stood motionless as she opened the back door to the sedan and glanced around the parking lot. Michael bent to get into the car, and she slapped him hard alongside his head.

"STUPID! How dare you shame me,” she said.

Michael grabbed his face where the lingering sting caused the blood to throb inside his head. Without a word, he finished getting into the car. She slammed his door. Michael watched as she situated herself in the front seat. She adjusted the rearview mirror with her slender fingers. His mother made momentary eye contact with him, but he looked away.

She drove the car out of the parking lot and asked, “What were you thinking?”

Michael hesitated. He knew if he gave the wrong answer, he’d pay for it later. He said nothing, but replayed the incident in his mind.

Sally, not the prettiest girl in his fifth grade class, wore her brown hair long and straight. Her clothes were cheap and out of style, much like Michael’s. That’s why he thought he stood a chance with her. He needed a friend. Sally never volunteered answers in class. She seemed shy, perfect. However, when he approached her at lunch time and asked if he could sit and eat with her, she laughed out loud. Too loudly. She drew the attention of the other kids. They all turned and watched.

She spoke to Michael in full southern drawl. “Well, bless your lil’ heart. Meager misfit Michael wants to eat with lil’ ol’ me?” Sally stood, leaned close, and hollered, “Not today. Not in this life time. Not ever!” She turned so fast, her long hair flipped Michael in the face. The other kids burst out laughing.

Chanting rose from the laughter. “Meager Misfit Michael. Meager Misfit Michael.”

Small statured and bone skinny, Michael lunged toward Sally and tackled her. With one hand, he gripped her hair. The other, he cocked backward and made a fist. Before he connected the blow, the principal pulled him off Sally. The principal hauled Michael to his office and immediately called his mother. For an hour, the principal lectured Michael about the virtue of women and how he should respect all women including the girls his own age. They faced each other across the large oak desk and waited for Michael’s mother to arrive.

“A man should never hit a woman,” the principal said and looked at Michael over the rims of his spectacles.

“Yes sir,” Michael said, but he could think of plenty of reasons to hit a woman.

His mother’s voice yanked him from his frustrated memories.

"Answer me,” she said. “Why’d you tackle that poor girl? Whatever possessed you?” His mother focused on him in the rear view mirror. This time, he held her gaze.

“They made fun of me,” Michael said.

“Why on earth would they make fun of you?”

Michael knew he should stay quiet. This couldn’t end well for him.

“Answer me,” she said again.

“They make fun of my clothes, my hair, everything about me, every day.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your clothes or your hair. Did you tell them that? Or did you just pounce on that poor thing? I swear, Michael, you over react to every little thing. You need to stand up for yourself and grow a backbone.”

Michael spoke without thinking. “How can I when I have to wear clothes from the thrift store? I look stupid. My sisters cut my hair. You spend all our money on yourself and them. You don’t spend any on me.” The air inside the car became frigid as Michael realized what he’d done. He stopped breathing for a moment, hoping that if he didn’t disturb even the air around him, maybe the moment would pass without punishment. His mother didn’t move a muscle. And then, suddenly, she swerved the car over to the side of the road, got out of the car, and opened Michael’s door.

“Get out!” she said. Michael did as he was told. She put one manicured finger in his face and said, “Don’t like your clothes? You don’t have to wear them.” And with strength he usually only felt behind her hits, she gripped the collar of his shirt, and ripped it right off him. “Take your pants off,” she yelled.

“No. Please. I’m sorry,” Michael said. He wished his father hadn’t left them. He knew his father wouldn’t let her treat him this way. And yet, he couldn’t blame his father for wanting to get away from this awful woman. Michael wished his father would’ve taken him away also. His mother continued yelling at him, telling him to take off his pants and his shoes. Tears streamed down Michael’s face as he refused. She slapped him.

“You can walk home,” she said and got back into the car. She hit the accelerator so hard gravel bit into Michael’s bare chest. He stood there and watched her drive away.

NEVER HIT A WOMAN
by
Margo Kelly
 
If you'd like to read other samples of my writing visit: http://www.margokelly.net

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

All You Need is Love

Thanks EJ for the awesome video and shout out! :) Visit my neighbor in the e-hood: the-open-vein-ejwesley



Tomorrow, I will get back to some actual posts on the craft of writing! :)

Japan, update

As writers, we observe life and report on it.

Here's an email from a friend's son who lives in Japan with his wife. I thought you might find it interesting:

...

"We had an appointment to put our money down on the house yesterday but the realtor canceled it and told us to think it over a bit more.

We went to look at the house yesterday and the driveway and stone wall surrounding it were cracked. The tsunami also came up to the wall (about an inch) but didn't enter the yard.

It was amazing. Yesterday was the first time we had been out since the quake. The roads were all cracked, some telephone poles were bent. The supermarket shelves were bare... It looked like the apocalypse.

Apparently, there is no water in Kashima. We are ok because our house uses well water. As long as we have electricity we'll be fine. Speaking of which, they are about to cut our electricity for a few hours as part of a plan because apparently they don't have enough to go around. Anyway, we've opened our house to my co-workers to come and use for showering etc. and so far two have taken us up on it.

There is a lot of conflicting reports and information coming in as far as the power situation and the power plant (about 150 kilomoters north of us) which they are apparently now cooling down with sea water.

Thank you for the donation. Like I said, we are fine, but the images of the devastation up north is horrific.

I have tomorrow off and it's 'wait and see' for Wednesday. "

...

The hardest thing I had to do today was make dinner. We have plenty of electricity and plenty of water, and all of our loved ones are safe. 
 
What was the hardest thing you did today (or yesterday)?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Disaster in Japan

Interestingly enough, the post I had originally scheduled for today, didn't appear. Which I'm actually glad for, because I'd like to simply say today that my heart is broken for the people of Japan. However, I admire their strength and courage, and I know our prayers will help them and the relief workers.

For those whose personally felt the reach of this disaster, my heart goes out to you. I wish you only the best.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Happy Birthday, to me!


My birthday is Saturday ... so, let's celebrate. Feel free to send cards, gifts, books, and money.
OH ...
Scratch all of that and simply send me an agent - of my VERY own! :)

That would be an awesome birthday present.

yes, indeed
...
See you back here Monday morning!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What Makes YOU Stop Reading?

Do you finish every book you start?

Why? or Why not?

I wanted to finish UNDER THE DOME by Stephen King. Really ... I did. But, I "walked" away from it four different times to read other books. And, it continues to gather dust on my nightstand. I decided last night ... I'm not going to finish it.

If you want it - it's yours - free - but I'm NOT paying for shipping. :)

Why did I stop?

First, let me tell you why I tried so hard to finish it: the writing and voice(s) were great.

However, the main reason I stopped was because I realized I *shouldn't* have to TRY so hard to read a book! ACK. Secondly, the violence and language exceeded my threshold. I love horror stories, but the violence in this one simply was too much for me. And, I also realized my desire to find out "what happens" no longer mattered to me.

I'd rather read books I'm EXCITED about and can't read fast enough!

So, how about you? Do you finish every book you start?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A Killer Title

I'm currently reading SAVE THE CAT by Blake Snyder. In it, he discusses the importance of a killer title.

I have to admit, I had not worried too much about my titles, because I've heard so many times that the title most likely will be changed along the publishing path.

However, I have also recently read more than once that agents request pages based on the killer title alone.

This started my wheels turning.

And, then ... I received a query rejection yesterday that said my plot seemed more intent on teaching a lesson than telling a story. This was based solely on the query letter, no sample pages. (You can view a version of my query HERE and/or HERE.)

Hmm. I read the query and thought, wow. Really? But then, I just kept thinking ... maybe it's the title?! The title could be construed as condescending or preachy. Not my intention. I thought it sounded cool.

So ... now I'm on the hunt for a better title. Not easy.

Blake Snyder writes, "One of the best titles of recent memory, and one I still marvel at, is Legally Blonde. Whe I think about all the bad titles it could have been -- Barbie Goes to Harvard, Totally Law School, Airhead Apparent -- to come up with one that nails the concept, without being so on the nose that it's stupid, is an art unto itself. I am jealous of that title. A good sign!" (page 9).

What's the best book title that comes to mind for you? Does it "nail" what the concept of the book is about?

Monday, March 7, 2011

Catch Me if You Can Blogfest

Kristina Fugate is hosting a great blogfest over at: http://kaykays-corner.blogspot.com So hurry over and get signed up and participate! The rules are simple, and she's giving away a $20 Amazon gift card to a lucky participant! She says: "We've all heard it a millon times: If your book doesn't catch the agent/publisher's eye quickly, they'll probably reject it. So, I'm sure at one time or another we've asked ourselves, "Does my WIP catch people's attention right away?""

Here are the first 550 words of MANIFESTED, currently undergoing a major revision. :) So, please, leave your critique in the comments, or feel free to email me (my email is listed in the sidebar to the right). THANKS!

MANIFESTED: Chapter 1

Luke Michaelson sat at the small desk in his bedroom and methodically spun a closed pocket knife with his index finger. A camping trip in the Sawtooth Mountains of Idaho sounded like a stupid idea to him, but Mom and Dad insisted this next week would be a great adventure. Dad expected him to help pack today, but first Luke needed a few minutes alone.

With his thumb and index finger, he tugged at the stubborn blade of the pocket knife. Unable to open it, Luke reached across his desk and dragged the lamp closer. He gripped the casing of the pocket knife tightly with his left hand and yanked with his right. When the blade flipped out suddenly, it surprised Luke, and he let go of the knife. As it slipped from his hand, the blade slashed the skin between his thumb and index finger.

Luke groaned, shook his hand, and then tried sucking the cut to alleviate the pain. Nausea swelled in his gut, but he refused to panic. When he withdrew his hand to examine the damage, no slice remained. He leaned forward and held his hand under the bright lamp. Light glinted off the opals he wore around his wrist, making him squint momentarily. But no cut remained. Nothing. He studied the alarm clock next to his bed, 10 a.m. Dad shouldn’t miss him for awhile yet. So, he hopped up, locked his door, turned up the volume on his music, and sat back down at his desk. He picked up his pocket knife and examined the blood glistening on the edge of the blade. Luke looked at his hand where the cut should have been. Nothing.

He held the knife near his forearm willing himself to make a small cut, but he couldn’t do it. He set the knife back down on his desk and walked over to his bed. Am I crazy? he thought and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked again at his healed hand. With determination, Luke moved back to his desk, grabbed the knife, and quickly pulled the blade along his forearm near his opals.

As the pain seared through him, Luke collapsed onto the chair and propped his arm against the edge of the desk. He took slow controlled breaths as he watched the wound neatly knit itself back together. A thin red line remained visible, but no blood. It wasn’t his imagination. He pulled the blade across his skin again. A drop of blood fell from the blade, but within a few seconds, only another narrow welt lingered on his skin. Of course, the slices hurt, but less each time, and the ones closest to his opal bracelet healed the fastest. He made one more cut, slower and deeper, and watched it mend. Crazy, Luke thought and shook his head in disbelief while his mind raced for a solution. He wondered if the metaphysical properties of the Boulder Matrix Fire Opals he wore could be responsible for the rapid healing.

“No,” Luke whispered to his empty bedroom and shook his head faster. Even though his younger brother Billy had constantly yammered about the special properties and powers of rocks and crystals, Luke had never believed him. “No way.”

He wiped the blade on his jeans...
 
 


Leave your critique and comments below! Thanks. Happy blog-hopping.
 
(Oh... and if you'd like to read the whole chapter, visit: http://www.margokelly.net)

Friday, March 4, 2011

Book Review: Incarceron by Catherine Fisher


I had a hard time deciding if I should give this book three or four stars in my Goodreads.com review. (Oh, and if we're not friends on goodreads yet -- let me know -- I love seeing what everyone's reading! There's a link on the sidebar.)

Click here to read a description of the book.

Okay ... I loved the premise: The prison is ALIVE!

I enjoyed the plot: Boy wants to escape from prison. Girl on outside wants to help him. Prison and Warden try to stop them (oh, did I mention the Warden is the girl's father?).

But I was terribly distracted by the punctuation errors and the typos. I also thought it read more like a middle grade book than YA. I kept forgetting that the main character was 17. He seemed more like 12 or 14 to me.

And, since we've discussed critique partners all week ... I'm wondering, where was Fisher's CP? Because there were some issues that should have been caught before this book was published.

My first question: Does Wales (where Fisher is from) have different punctuation rules than the United States? If so, then I give the book four stars. If not, three stars. Because: Two independent clauses joined by a conjunction NEED a comma to separate them. ACK! These glared out at me throughout the entire book. I know ... seems like maybe a small thing. But it drove me nutso. This is an award winning author ... so they simply must have different punctuation rules in Wales. Somebody tell me. Please.

The other question: How does an award winning book make it to paperback with typos still in it? Receipt instead of recipe. That's a big typo. And misspellings of Warden. Hmm.

Anyhow, if you disregard my three issues: punctuation, typos, and age of MC ... then it's a great read. I highly recommend it to everyone. Really.

Climbing down off rant-a-lot-box.

EDIT: Ah ... a friend commented on my goodreads.com review and educated me in the use of the word "receipt" ... it was NOT a typo! Check out the details: Receipt = Recipe (who knew?)

What's the best book you've read recently?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Critique Partners: Staging

Yesterday, I touched on "staging" a bit at the end of the post, but I want to discuss it more today.

I put this technique into practice because I had most of my beta readers (at the time) read the same version of my first ms, MANIFESTED. When I received their feedback, I made changes, and (silly me) asked them to read it again. They all groaned (is that a *bad* sign?). Gack!

It was a bad sign for multiple reasons:

1. They had JUST read it. It was too fresh in their minds for them to go through it again with objective eyes. Now, I still find this is true with beta readers. Critique partners, on the other hand, *should* be willing to read anything you give them, because that's their JOB. And they are paid well for it - right? What? You're not paying them?! YES, you are! You are paying them with awesome return critiques. :)

2. Clearly, my first "finished" draft of my ms was not as exciting as Twilight, or they would have read it over and over with no time wasted between reads. *choke*

3. I needed critique partners, not only beta readers. Um... and not only family members as beta readers!

So... here you go... You've found at least one critique partner, and your working out your system. Once you're comfortable with that, find another critique partner, and work out your staging.

Here's what works SMASHINGLY well for me:

1. Trade chapters, not the whole ms. Why? First of all, if you're working with a new CP, do you really want to give them the WHOLE pot of gold? (You know it's a pot of gold!) Test the waters with just one chapter. Trade critiques and see how it feels. If it works, send the next chapter. Second, a chapter at a time is very doable. A whole manuscript can feel overwhelming. You'll give and get more detailed critiques on a smaller chunk at a time. Use your beta readers for the whole ms (after it's been revised to death perfection).

2. Agree to trade weekly. A chapter a week is sweet. Now, that may seem too slow to some of you. But, I've come to realize that a slower revision is often a better revision. Plus, if that is too slow for you, work on your next ms while you're waiting! Plus, often times, my CPs and I finish the critiques early and send them back. We don't *limit* ourselves to one chapter a week, but we commit to accomplish at least that much.

3. Start with your first CP and get her/him ahead in the ms. At least two chapters. That way you will have a cushion to make necessary revisions to your work, before sending the revised chapters to your next CP.

4. In the last post, we discussed making only the changes that *feel* right to you. Now, here's where staging your CPs is essential. If your first partner suggests a change that you strongly disagree with, leave it. Wait and see the reaction of your 2nd and/or 3rd CP. If they make the same suggestion, you need to revisit the idea and consider a change. Because if your CPs are stopping on the same spot, chances are an agent and/or a publisher will as well.

5. With your first CP, list out the items you struggled with in the chapter. Such as: too many words, weak dialogue, too much telling, etc. Ask your CP to look for these things and mark the problem areas. Then, with their help, you can clean it up. When you send it to your 2nd CP, don't make a list. See if they spot the original problem areas. If not, you've fixed it. If they do spot them, work on more revisions.

Go forth and critique!

Do you stage your CPs? Or do you critique by the seat of your pants? Have a tip to share?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Critique Partners: Multiples!

Normally, I would suggest having multiple partners is not a good thing... eh... well... EXCEPT for when it comes to CRITIQUE PARTNERS! ha. truth.

So, to follow up on yesterday's post: #2: Having multiple critique partners is essential.

Why?

Let me tell you:

1. Start with one partner. Get the hang of it. Get a feel for the process and what you like and don't like. Then add a second partner. Then a third.

2. Different people have different opinions - but when multiple critique partners advise you to change/edit/improve a certain passage that you think is perfect - well, you'd better sit up and take notice!

3. Critique partners with different styles will suggest different changes. Implementing the changes that feel right to you, will make your ms more well rounded.

4. One ciritque partner may be so enthralled with your ms that they miss typos and punctuations, where another critique partner may have trouble enjoying the story because of these glaring issues.

And finally, my favorite reason for having multiple partners:
I can clean up my ms as much as I think is possible (ha!), and then I can pass it on to my first critique partner. She reads it, critiques it, and passes it back. I make improvements and pass it on to my next partner. She reads it, critiques it, and passes it back. I make improvements and pass it on to my next partner. And so on and so on. Staging the critiques this way is very helpful in the revising process.

By having each person read an improved version, it can only (hopefully?!) get better. Now, of course you have to be careful to only make changes that *feel* right to you. It is your story after all.


Do you have multiple partners? What is the biggest benefit?