Critique Partners: Providing Thorough Critiques

How do you provide a great critique of someone else's writing?

Here are some points to keep in mind, first:
1. Be polite: comment on things you do like about the writing
2. Be honest: give your true opinions
3. Be aware: give accurate advice
4. Be helpful: make suggestions for improvement

Next, before you can be a great critique partner, you need to read a book on the craft of writing (in my humble opinion!). Once you've read a book, you will know what to look for when critiquing.

Here's a short list for starters:
SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS by Browne & King
THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE by Strunk & White
THE FIRE IN FICTION by Maass

Then, use the review bubbles in Word to leave comments on the Word document. These bubbles make it very easy to quickly make suggestions for improvement in the ms.

Give accurate advice. I know with one of my CPs, I was nagging her about her use of ellipses. I began to wonder if I was being accurate, so I googled it. After reading advice on several websites, I realized I was wrong. Check out this site if you'd like to test your own knowledge: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/

Researching specific topics and reading books on the craft will help improve your eye.

By giving excellent critiques for others, you will improve your own writing. Your eye will become more fine tuned to the details of writing and your writing muscles will become stronger from the exercise!!

What do you look for in your critiques?

[post originally publised 3-3-11 ... for more tips on critique partners, click on the tag]

Book Review: BEFORE I FALL by Lauren Oliver

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver


My rating: 3 of 5 stars


GROUNDHOG DAY meets MEAN GIRLS.


Need I say more? Well, of course, I need to say more.


The author's writing was wonderful. The way she weaved details into the ever-repeating day was wonderful. But, the main character was not wonderful.

And really, the only reason I gave this book 3 stars instead of 5 is because I had to FORCE myself to keep reading past page 100. Everyone had claimed this book was great - - but I really dread reading about an unlikeable main character. Yes, of course, she grows throughout the story and changes, but does that make up for the first 100 pages??

And, the only reason I gave this book 3 stars instead of 1 star, is because I couldn't stop thinking about the book, the characters and the plotline, for quite awhile after I finished reading it. It really stuck with me.

This is considered a YA book. So, a note regarding that: the day that keeps repeating involves drinking, driving, sex, and a party. Over and over and over again. Take that into consideration before letting your 12 yr-old read this book.

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WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW?

FEAR of Your Lover IS an Aphrodisiac!

So, last post I delved into the topic of Bella and Edward from TWILIGHT, and how she fears he might drink her blood. I also mentioned that a smart person from another blog wrote:

Fear of your lover should not be an aphrodisiac.

Well ... whether it should be or should not be ... it is.

Think about it. Some women have:
1. One Night Stands
2. Affairs
3. Fantasies of being with the bad boy
4. Flirt fests with the bouncer/linebacker/drug dealer/teacher/best friend's boyfriend/boss/etc.

All of the above items (and more?) involve an element of fear. Fear of your lover and the potential harm he could cause to you and/or your family.

But! I'd like to take it a step further and have you consider that fear is also an aphrodisiac with a SAFE boy/man/lover/husband. Seriously. Unless you're a rock, you have feelings. Feelings that could be dangerous if you trust the wrong person or even the right person at the wrong time or in the wrong place. Otherwise, why would people have sex in elevators, on airplanes, in libraries, in movie theaters? They do these things because they have become safe in their relationship and they want to bring back some of the fear-aphrodisiac.

Even if you and your safe partner only have safe sex in a safe place, there can still be an element of fear. During sex you are exposing yourself more than at any other moment. If something, anything, goes wrong, your inner most core could be damaged. What could go wrong with a safe partner in a safe place? A lot of things. Just use your imagination.

But! Let's take it even a step further. Maybe it's not FEAR at all that is the actual aphrodisiac.

Maybe, in fact, it is TRUST.

Trust that even though your boyfriend wants to drink your blood, you have faith that he loves you more than that blood-drinking-desire. Trust that your football-playing-linebacker will leave his aggression on the field and never hit you. Trust that your safe-devoted-husband will never make fun of your ever-growing-love-handles.

Trust trumps fear.
And, that, is the climactic aphrodisiac.

Fear of Your Lover Should not be an Aphrodisiac

I took the above title from Regina Barreca, Ph.D.. She wrote a series of blog posts for Psychology Today on the topic of the TWILIGHT phenomenon and why teens love it, and she hates it.

Sometimes, I am a little slow, and so I had to read the words a second time. Here, you can, too:

Fear of Your Lover Should not be an Aphrodisiac

So, what do you think about that? Do you agree that Bella's fear of Edward drinking her blood is an aphrodisiac? And do you think this concept is damaging to teenage girls? ... heck ... all women?

Do you think some girls/women date men, love men, because they are dangerous? What about when you were a teenager? Were you attracted to the dangerous boys or to the safe boys?

Regardless of where the feminist movement has brought us, most of the teenage girls I know still lack self-esteem. I don't think it's something you can GIVE to another person. I think it is something they must learn and discover for themselves. It just so happens that most of us go through that learning phase as young women. But, I know plenty of women (including myself to a certain extent) who continue to struggle late into their lives with self-esteem issues.

So, if there's a man totally devoted to your every desire and need, is that enough? Or does there need to be an element of danger as well? And frankly, is it healthy to hope for, want, or need a man to be THAT devoted to you? Shouldn't he have a life of his own? Hobbies? Friends?

Should ESL Students Receive Extra Consideration?

Saturday, I spent 12 hours judging high school debate competitions. I love it. I love watching the teenagers interact. And I love listening to them converse with one another before, during, and after a competition.

The thing I don't love is being told to be nicer to the students when filling out my ballot sheet. Am I really the only adult who thinks teenagers should be told the truth? Don't get me wrong ... I don't write on the ballot: "You're ugly. You're snotty. Your breath stinks."

Instead, I give a compliment first, and then note the negative things (if any) about their presentation. If I don't ... how can they know what to improve on? For example, one mean thing I wrote (after giving a compliment) was: "If you feel the need to constantly fidget with the hemline of your skirt, maybe you should consider wearing something else next time, because the fidgeting is very distracting." Another mean thing I wrote, "Your facial expression comes across as very angry. Is this what you want to portray?"

My daughter is a competitor, and she would rather the judge tell her what she could improve on, specifically, rather than give vague generic responses.

So ... I turned in a ballot at the tabulation table, and a debate coach (teacher) from one of the high schools handed the ballot back to me, and said, "You scored them too low. Rescore it."

I (being the kind lovely patient person that I am) said, "No."

The coach turned to the coach sitting next to her and said, "Are you going to let her get away with this?"

HA. Clearly, she does not know me.

The second judge said, "Were they really that bad?"

I said, "Yes. I scored them appropriately."

Second coach lowered her voice and said, "Well, this competitor is an English-Second-Language student, so maybe we should just give her some extra consideration."

WHAT?! Heck no.

I don't care if English is your second language. I've judged PLENTY of foreign-exchange students (this student was not a foreign-exchange student), and they've performed excellently.

Heck no.

I asked my 15-year-old daughter if she thought I was being too mean (granted, she's biased and may be in fear of punishment or something) ... she agreed with my reasoning. How can someone improve if the only thing they ever hear is, "Great job!" ??

Now, I have to tell you, I judged a lot of competitions Saturday that were blow-your-mind-amazing. These students are SO SMART. Debating about complicated moral, ethical, and governmental issues ... they were prepared, well spoken, and sharp. It was a pleasure to watch, and I was so sad that one of them would not advance because of my decision. And, that especially, is when I think it's crucial for a judge to explain on the ballot why one person was chosen over the other.

Another thing to note, when my daughter and I first arrived, we walked through the cafeteria (where the students congregate and wait for their next debate), and I smiled, because everyone was squeaky clean and smelling good. At the end of the day, that cafeteria is NOT where you want to be! Then, they are sweaty, stinky, and sporting their slippers, pj's, and hoodies. Evolution.

Anyhow. The question of the day is: Do you think ESL students should be given extra consideration (whether in class or in a competition)??

Tips for Writers, Sort of ... by Deborah Coonts

I'm thrilled to have a guest post today, by Deborah Coonts!

Deborah Coonts, author of Lucky Stiff, says her mother tells her she was born in Texas a very long time ago, though she's not totally sure -- her mother can't be trusted. But she was definitely raised in Texas on barbeque, Mexican food and beer. She currently resides in Las Vegas, where family and friends tell her she can't get into too much trouble. Silly people. Coonts has built her own business, practiced law, flown airplanes, written a humor column for a national magazine, and survived a teenager. She is the author of the Lucky O'Toole Las Vegas adventure series.

Her first book, Wanna Get Lucky? was released in 2010.


Tips for Writers, Sort Of


By Deborah Coonts,


I don't do rules.

Which is probably not a bad thing when it comes to writing. Writing is art -- a word-picture born in self-expression. And, as a creative endeavor, there is a bit of coloring outside the lines necessary to distinguish your story, to capture attention.

This sounded so perfect for a story-lover with an authority issue . . . namely me.

With the misplaced confidence of someone ignorant of the concept to terminal velocity, I stepped out on the fiction tightrope with no instruction, no one to grab me if I put a foot wrong, no net to save a bruised ego if I plunged headlong into the chasm.

And I was doing so well, at first. Then I ran into a blank white page with the two most feared words in the writing world: Chapter One. Two words into my masterpiece and I'd crashed to the ground, bloodied and broken. The one thing that was abundantly clear was that I hadn't clue as to how to tackle a project a large as a novel. Where to begin?

So I turned to the world's ringmaster -- Google. They they choreograph the information of our lives like a dance of Elephants, so they surely they could focus a spotlight on my little ring in the circus?

And shine a light they did. I had no idea the wealth of "dos and don'ts" (I refuse to call them rules), tips, guidelines, ways, points, dangers, signs, and fundamentals. While I clung firmly to the trapeze of "writing is art," I quickly realized that if you swing to far on that trapeze, you're going to miss the hand-off guy . . . namely, readers. They have expectations that we as writers must acknowledge. Stories must be accessible, engrossing, entertaining, and readable. That's all well-and-good, but I needed specifics. I didn't even know what to write, much less how.

Best place to start seemed to be with the what. Back to Google.

The first suggestion was: "write what you know." At the time, the sum total of my knowledge came from being a harried single mom and depreciated tax lawyer. My life didn't even entertain me.

The next suggestion, "write what you read." Okay, I could get my head around that. Romantic suspense was my drug of choice. Watch out Sandra Brown. Fingers flying, I burned up the computer, along with the midnight oil. When the light dawned, and I came out of my writing-induced coma, I had learned one thing: I was definitely not Sandra Brown.

With two strikes against me, I braced for the next pitch. "Write what you can imagine." I was in business. I'd spent my life wandering with my head in the clouds -- I could imagine almost anything. Synapses fired and I imagined an overworked young woman who was Head of Customer Relations at a large Vegas Strip hotel with a former hooker as a mother, an absent father, and Vegas's foremost Female Impersonator as a best friend who wanted to be more. It became Wanna Get Lucky?, my first published novel.

I picked up my own "rules" for writing a novel along the way. Some of them might be of interest even if you don't do rules.

RULE ONE: PACK YOUR BAGS

Stuff all your meetings, to-do lists, commitments, and hobnobbing in a trunk and send it packing. Writing is a turbulent journey taken solo with only a small carry-on allowed. You can put the "have-tos" in that carry-on -- like checking in on the kids every week or so, spending enough time with your spouse/significant other that he/she still remembers your name, and talking to friends often enough they don't call Missing Persons. Make time to play with words and zealously guard that time. Your dreams are worth it.

RULE TWO: LEARN THE ROPES

Since language is the skeleton of storytelling, learn the basics -- sentence structure, active versus passive voice, showing not telling, etc. Find a teacher, class, or workshop to learn how to communicate. Then when you're able to make those first steps, don't ask anyone where to go. Imagine.

RULE THREE: DON'T LOOK BACK

What happens in every thriller flick when the driver gets in and looks in the rearview mirror? Struggle, choke, death. Your internal editor is that bad-guy lurking in the backseat ready to slit your throat. Do let him get in the car. Instead, put the pedal to the metal and leave that self-edit strangler with a mouthful of dust.

And those lingering doubts about your ability? They are sketchy hitchhikers jonesing to break your stride. Shift, pass, and don't look back.

RULE FOUR: NETWORK WISELY

Surround yourself with other writers (NOT family -- they can't be trusted). Take energy from the camaraderie. Get input -- but use only what you consider valid. Trust your gut. It's your story. Remember, opinions may not be offered with the best of intentions.

RULE FIVE: WRITE

Get words on paper. Lots of them. I don't care if it's from a plane, train, hotel, locker room, unemployment line, breakdown lane, edge of a cliff; just write.

RULE SIX: PERSEVERE

Remember, quit is a four-letter word.

© 2011 Deborah Coonts, author of Lucky Stiff

For more information please visit http://www.deborahcoonts.com/, and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.

Twilight Anticipation

What's that I smell in the air?

Ah ... yes ... it's the anticipation for the next movie installment of the Twilight Saga. Mmm. Hmm. That's right!

So, in honor of Friday's big event, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite movie scenes: when Jasper flips the bat. :) The video is below ... feel free to fast forward to 1 minute 44 seconds. That's where it happens. haha.



What's your favorite Twilight movie scene?

And, heaven forbid, if you are a Twilight-hater, what is your favorite scene from some-other-movie? :)

Visit back on Friday for a guest post from a wonderful author!! :-)

A to Z Challenge

Put it on your calendar.

I know ... seems so far away ... but this is an exhausting marathon of a blog hop. However, the challenge is rewarding (personally). So, check it out, sign up, and start preparing now for the big event.

For more information: a-to-zchallenge.com

To read my posts from last year, click on the April 2010 link in the sidebar. Some of the posts continue in my most popular posts list.

Have you heard of any great upcoming blog hops? Do you hate blog hops?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

I found something GREAT! Check out this wondeful group by CLICKING HERE!

Look for my first "group" post on the first Wednesday of December. (The official group posting day.)

Seasons & How They Represent Us

I *was* going to write a thought provoking post about seasons and how they represent so many aspects of our lives ... but instead, here's a video that expresses much of what I wanted to say:

Albacore & Canker Sore

bwhahahaha ... before I started this post, I did a little Google search ... the BEST result:

Rhymes with METAPHOR (from: Merriam-Webster.com)


albacore, ... at death's door, ... Barrymore, canker sore, carnivore, ... commodore, ... corridor, ... dinosaur, ... Ecuador, either-or, Eleanor, elector, ... general store, go in for, guarantor, ... herbivore, heretofore, humidor, in line for, ... Labrador, licensor, Lipitor, ... man-of-war, manticore, matador, meteor, micropore, Minotaur, mirador, more and more, ... pompadour, predator, promisor, pterosaur, saddle sore, ... sycamore, ... troubadour, tug-of-war, two-by-four, uncalled-for, underscore, ... warrantor

Do I need to say more?

Be VERY glad I did NOT use a picture of a canker sore ... YIKES!!

Well, okay two more things:

Definition of metaphor (Merriam-Webster.com):

a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money)

 

Great example of metaphor:

"The guy was starting to creep me out. Still, as far as creeps go, he was a benchwarmer in the minor leagues. I played in the majors" (WANNA GET LUCKY? page 29).

 

Do you utilize metaphors in your writing?

NoNaNo

Right.

I know I said I was going to switch this blog to a MWF posting schedule ... but now that I'm getting back into the whole "posting & hopping" blog thing ... well ... I realize I have a lot of words to get out of my system.  So, count on a MWF schedule, but there may be TTS posts when I feel so motivated.

With that said, let's talk about NaNoWriMo, or NaNo for short.

Or ... NoNaNo for me.

Frankly, NaNo feels like something all the cool kids are doing. And it's spreading like wildfire. Even my daughter's high school formed a group to do it last year, and she's doing it again this year.

What am I missing? Do I need to have NaNo on my resume to be considered a dedicated writer? Am I going to be shunned by all the cool kids for not giving into the peer pressure and joining them? Can I be an independent and still be accepted by the writing community as a whole?

Well, regardless of your answers, I'm still a NoNaNo.

I hope we can still be friends.

Make Me Laugh ... or Cringe!

Similes.

Why do they make us think, laugh, or cringe?

First, the definition from Brooklyn College: "Literal language means exactly what it says; a rose is the physical flower. Figurative language changes the literal meaning, to make a meaning fresh or clearer, to express complexity, to capture a physical or sensory effect, or to extend meaning. ... A simile: a comparison of two dissimilar things using "like" or "as", e.g., "my love is like a red, red rose" (Robert Burns). ..."

Second, here's a simile I heard this summer that keeps replaying in my mind:

"She threw that ball like a prayer straight to heaven," C. Ryan Dunn said while describing how his wife launched a basketball granny-style from a great distance to win a bet ... and win she did, when the ball swished through the net.

I love the sensory effect of that simile. It captures the desire behind the effort.

source: http://mattersofopinion.net/2011/06/stephen-king-mixed-with-politics-could-be-fresh-horror/

Stephen King writes, "... I like the figurative stuff. The use of simile and other figurative language is one of the chief delights of fiction—reading it and writing it, as well. When it’s on target, a simile delights us in much the same way meeting an old friend in a crowd of strangers does. By comparing two seemingly unrelated objects—a restaurant bar and a cave, a mirror and a mirage—we are sometimes able to see an old thing in a new and vivid way. Even if the result is mere clarity instead of beauty, I think writer and reader are participating together in a kind of miracle. ... My all-time favorite similes, by the way, come from the hardboiled-detective fiction of the forties and fifties, and the literary descendants of the dime-dreadful writers. ... “I lit a cigarette [that] tasted like a plumber’s handkerchief ” (Raymond Chandler). The key to good description begins with clear seeing and ends with clear writing, the kind of writing that employs fresh images and simple vocabulary" (ON WRITING, pages 176-177).

 
Do you think a great simile adds to a story? Or do you prefer literal language?

Book Review: WANNA GET LUCKY?

Wanna Get Lucky? by Deborah Coonts


My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Bottom line: loved it.



Lucky O'Toole is in charge of customer relations at an opulent casino in Las Vegas, and she needs to figure out whether or not Lyda Sue committed suicide or was murdered.


The opening line of the books reads: "As her final act on this earth, Lyda Sue Stalnaker plummeted out of a Las Vegas helicopter and landed smack in the middle of the pirates' lagoon in the front of the Treasure Island Hotel, disrupting the 8:30 p.m. pirate show."


Ha. That's a great start.


What I did not like: Some of the character development seemed forced. Several times I was taken out of the moment, out of the story, because an action or description of a character made me scrunch my eyebrows. Also, I'm not a fan of promiscuity. So, the storylines involving partner swapping and the porn star convention made me grimace ... and almost lower the rating to three stars. I kept reading, regardless of this issue, because the author mostly skimmed along the edges of these topics. Only later in the book did she actually devote any real paragraphs to the topics. So, if you're skeemish, you can simply skim or skip those few pages. There's plenty of warning that the topic is coming up - so you won't be caught by surprise.


What I loved: I used to work in the hotel industry; so, I really enjoyed reading about a main character who was in charge of solving customer problems. It was a hoot! Skill is required to hold a customer responsible for their own actions, and yet make them think you are doing them a favor. Coonts did a great job of describing these scenes. I also really enjoyed the unpredictability of the book. Normally, I'm quick to figure out the plotline and forsee the ending. Not this time. Coonts had me guessing throughout the book.


I also appreciated the fact that the "high fashion" was NOT overdone in this book. I've read other books where every detail of a high fashion shoe was described (and I think I threw up a little in my mouth). Lucky O'Toole wears high fashion, but it's described lightly and almost in passing. So, while I don't know one brand name from another, and couldn't care less, I wasn't tortured or made to hate Lucky O'Toole because of her wardrobe.


If you enjoy the likes of Stephanie Plum, you'll enjoy reading about the adventures of Lucky O'Toole.



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