Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Book Review: DIARY OF A STAGE MOTHER'S DAUGHTER

 
 
This would be a great book club selection, because there are so many interesting points to discuss.

 
1. It’s a compelling story.

I almost said, “No way!” to this book without even opening it to page one. The last thing I wanted to do was read about some privileged rich girl complaining about the mother who paved her pathway to fame. However, my sixteen-year-old daughter read the description of the book and thought it sounded interesting. She convinced me to read the book, and then give it to her. J

I’m glad I did.

Melissa Francis’s story is quite compelling, and I found myself reading late into the night because I wanted to know what was going to happen next. The story is definitely five stars, but the writing and editing were not exceptional. There were typos, misspelled words, odd dialogue tags, and an overuse of adverbs. For those reasons, I could not give it the full five stars.

2. Do stage mothers suffer from mental disease?

I think the title of this book could easily have been changed to: DIARY OF A BIPOLAR MOTHER’S DAUGHTER. I found it interesting that no one in this memoir ever suggested that Melissa Francis’s mother suffered from a mental disease. Melissa did suggest near the end of the story that her sister could be bipolar, but she didn’t tie that into her mother.

From moment one, I caught on that the mother had a mental disorder, but maybe that’s only because I’ve lived the rollercoaster life with my own mother. There were innumerable scenes that not only could I relate to, but I’ve also lived through. I’ve been dropped off on the side of the road left to walk home. I’ve come home from school to find my mother still in bed. I’ve been berated by my mother only then to have her act like nothing ever happened a short time later. These are things that I try not to talk about with most people, because most people cannot fathom the reality of living in such a volatile household.

Just as Melissa Francis writes: “I have become a master of not answering questions. The skill is subtle. I do not lie. … The truth kills the conversation. … It is so abnormal, it begs an avalanche of uncomfortable questions that even friends are too shocked to ask. My non-answers are not lies, but, of course, they aren’t the whole truth either” (pages 286-287).

3. Should parents be forgiven their short-comings?

I would never write a memoir about my life with my mother, because it would hurt her, and because I’m not famous.

At what point are the sins of the parents unforgivable? Clearly, Melissa Francis defines that point in her book. And I respect that she made the decision that was best for her future, but how can she forgive her sister and her father, but not her mother? I still remember the day I sat in a counselor’s office and the counselor said to me, “You realize that a relationship with your mother is not a requirement? Right?” No. I didn’t realize that was an option. I thought I was required to continually forgive and love her despite everything. It never felt right to cut her out of my life completely. But just like Melissa Francis, I bolted from my home state as quickly as I could when I turned 18 and attended a college many miles away. I had never intended to return. And even though the rollercoaster ride with my mother is exhausting, the right choice for me was to continually forgive her. She’s now taking medication, and it helps. It doesn’t cure, and certain situations can still be volatile, but things are better. And even though my mother is not perfect, she is still my mother. I’m not a perfect mother, and I hope my children will forgive my shortcomings. Near the end of her story, Melissa Francis references the mothers of other newscasters and how their comments of “that dress makes you look fat” or something similar deflates esteem. Well, the truth of the matter is, a lot of moms say similar hurtful things. They don’t have to be stage moms, and they don’t have to have a mental disease, and they don’t have to have ill-intents. Sometimes moms say dumb things like, “You’d look so much better if …” Not all mothers have the communication skills and parenting tools to raise their children without harming them emotionally at some point. We all do the best we can with the tools we have. When we know better, we do better.

4. Does a child have any responsibility for influencing the atmosphere in their own household?

Melissa Francis could blame her misfortunes and the death of her sister on her mother, but at what point is a child held responsible for their own influences on the situation? She writes, “Right on cue, Mom got vicious. … Happy family movie officially over. I felt angry with both of them. Why couldn’t Mom leave her alone, but really, why couldn’t Tiffany just play along and keep dinner civil? They both made life so complicated” (page 138).

I almost stopped reading the book here, because unlike the author, I was the one who always spoke up and defended myself. I was the one who refused to “play along” just to keep things civil. And I never understood how anyone could simply suffer in silence at the hands of a bully. I chose to keep reading this memoir because I wanted to understand how Melissa Francis could stand to “play along” and take the hits in silence. Frankly, I think she liked the rewards. Guess jeans, an expensive car at sixteen, private school, horseback riding, and more. She played along because she liked the lifestyle. Is that her fault? When is a child responsible?

5. Was Melissa Francis ultimately responsible for her own successes, or does she have her mother to thank in part?

If the author’s mother is to blame for the demise of Tiffany, then is she not also responsible for Melissa’s successes? How can you link one and not the other? I don’t think the mother is responsible for either. However, I do believe she had a hand in both. We are all ultimately responsible for our own decisions. Even children from a certain age – say eight-years-old – are accountable for their own actions. Sure, Melissa was extremely smart and savvy. She made things happen: siphoning off money for summer at Stanford, working hard to ensure an internship happened, saving money to provide for herself … but aren’t these all things her mother taught her to do?

Ultimately, this was a great read, and I’d highly recommend it to everyone, unless you’re wanting an inside scoop on Little House on the Prairie. This section took very few pages in the book.
 
 
What are you reading right now?

 

 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Does Your Writing Lack Authority?

"If your every sentence admits a doubt, your writing will lack authority. Save the auxiliaries would, should, could, may, might, and can for situations involving real uncertainty" - Strunk & White (THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE, p. 20).

...
Well, there's some revision inspiration. I'm going to highlight these doubt-filled words in my manuscript and reconsider my word choices. Great advice from Strunk & White.

Does your writing lack authority? Do you think it matters?

Friday, March 22, 2013

Friday Funnies

My life is distracting me from my writing - - - does that ever happen to you? ha. So, let's take a break from everything and enjoy a few Facebook funnies:

Photo










Which one did you like best? :) Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Yoga is Better Than Your Yoga!

So ... my friend Lisa posted on Facebook this week that she mastered the CROW pose:


BTW: This is not Lisa, but a picture I found at:
http://yogaanywhere.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Crow-Pose-Kak-Asana-Full.jpg

Sure ... that's great! I do yoga, too. I've mastered the DOWNWARD DOG pose:


BTW: This is not Margo, but a picture I found at:
http://sdsd.heb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/downward_dog.jpg
Sigh.

Just another lesson in why we should not compare ourselves to others. We each go at our own pace, and if we are at least on the PATH and pointed in the RIGHT direction, that's what matters!

Do you do yoga? What's your favorite pose?

Monday, March 18, 2013

Can Non-Fiction be Exciting?



Why am I reading another non-fiction book? Well ... I'll tell you: The introduction of this memoir sucked me right in! I felt like I was reading a follow-up scene to a short story I once wrote:

Click here to read my short story.

So ... I'm only on page 7 of this memoir, and I hope the writing continues to be as interesting as it was in the introduction. Of course, I will let you know! :)

But I have to ask the questions:
1. Do you think non-fiction writing can be exciting?
2. Do you have non-fiction books that you stopped reading and never finished?
3. What's the best non-fiction (memoir or otherwise) you've ever read?

Friday, March 15, 2013

Book Review: THE MAPMAKER'S WAR by Ronlyn Domingue



Oh. This was a hard book to rate, but I've decided to rate it 3 out of 5 stars.

The premise thrilled me, and I was so excited to read this story, but when I opened to page one and discovered that the story was written in second person, I groaned. And then I noticed there were no quotation marks for the dialogue. Sigh.

Which made me ask myself, "Am I merely a consumer or am I a connoisseur?"

Here's a post I wrote a year ago on that very topic: http://margokelly.blogspot.com/2012/03/consumer-or-connoisseur.html

If I'm a connoisseur, I should be able to enjoy the writing style and appreciate the unique quality. But if I'm a consumer, I won't want to put the effort into it.

Because the truth of the matter is, the general reading public is used to first person and third person narratives, not to mention quotation marks, dashes, and tags. Most people read to escape, read for pleasure, and read to imagine worlds unknown.

So if you're looking for an easy read to escape your daily life, this book may not be for you; however, if you're looking for something different, something to perk up your brain and make you pay attention, this book may be just what you've been waiting for.

This is a small book: 223 pages with the text only filling 4x7 inches on each page. So I expected to read it in hours, but instead, weeks passed before I finished the book. It honestly took me half of the pages to fall into a groove with the second person narrative. Once I did, the pages turned quickly.

I still feel strongly that the book could have gone deeper and explored more of the main character's life if it had been written in first person or third person. I always felt like an outsider looking in. I never felt enveloped by the story. And to cover an entire lifetime in a mere 223 small pages seemed inadequate.

When asked why she wrote the story in second person, Ronlyn Dominque replied:
"First, Aoife wanted it that way. I’m being literal here. Once the writing began, after years of thought and waiting, she was insistent about how the story would be told. For me as a writer, characters have their own minds and wills, and it’s best if I respect both. But second, the point of view works for this particular story. She’s speaking to herself, writing to herself. Most people have the experience of talking to themselves in second person. “You did ____.” “You are _____.” “You should _____.” Aoife takes herself beyond confession—which is the effect of first person’s I—and enters a place of inquiry and reflection."

Here's the description that won me over:
"This will be the map of your heart, old woman. In an ancient time, in a faraway land, a young woman named Aoife is allowed a rare apprenticeship to become her kingdom's mapmaker, tasked with charting the entire domain. Traveling beyond its borders, she finds a secretive people who live in peace, among great wealth. They claim to protect a mythic treasure, one connected to the creation of the world. When Aoife reports their existence to her kingdom, the community is targeted as a threat. Attempting to warn them of imminent danger, Aoife is exiled for treason and finds refuge among the very people who had been declared her enemy. With them, she begins a new life surrounded by kindness, equality, and cooperation. But within herself, Aoife has no peace. She cannot share the grief she feels for the home and children she left behind. She cannot bear the warrior scars of the man she comes to love. And when she gives birth to their gifted daughter, Aoife cannot avoid what the child forces her to confront about her past and its truth. On this most important of journeys, there is no map to guide her. In this tale -- her autobiography -- Aoife reveals her pain and joy, and ultimately her transformation.
The Mapmaker's War is a mesmerizing, utterly original adventure about love and loss and the redemptive power of the human spirit. Watch for its epic sequel, The Chronicle of Secret Riven, in 2014."

What do you think? Do you prefer first person, third person, or second person? Does it matter to you?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Revision Inspiration!


"Make the changes you craft for your main character permanent and irreversible. ... Make sure when the dust settles, your hero will never be the same again" -- Donald Maass (WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL, p.156).

Monday, March 11, 2013

Formal Dance

I know you wanted to see pictures of the great dress my daughter and I found at a consignment shop for only $39:







Ah. Young adults are so much fun.


Friday, March 8, 2013

Do You Have a Dark Side?

I know you are all just dying to know the plotline of my current WIP. Right? Well, I have kept it under my hat, but I hope this song by Kelly Clarkson will be the music for the movie trailer one day (I can think big!).

The song goes MUCH better with my plotline if you close your eyes and listen to the words of the music rather than being influenced by the images of the video.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

IWSG: Doubt and Fear


Well, if I never felt doubt or fear, I wouldn't need to belong to the Insecure Writer's Support Group! haha.

For full details about this group, visit here: alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com

I wonder if writers ever feel fully confident? I think there's a difference between individual self-confidence and a writer's confidence ... or is there? Can I be assured in my daily life and still doubt my ability to convey the images I see in my head onto paper ... and for those written words then to translate into similar images in your head? Doesn't it require some form of psychic ability for me to transfer pictures and stories from my brain to yours? Would a Vulcan mind-meld (sp?) be easier?

*sigh*

I love writing. I love revising. But I fear you won't receive the message I intended to send. Lost in translation/perception/conception.

:)

I suppose that is the reason we have critique partners and beta readers.

What do you fear about your writing experience?



Friday, March 1, 2013

GRAMMAR: Lay vs. Lie

Usually my go-to website for grammar questions is the "Grammar Girl" ... but on this topic, she uses words like congugate and participle, and frankly, if I don't remember to turn off my speakers, the video commercials on her site blast me with Victoria's Secret ads. Pet peeve (and off topic, sorry).

Maybe I need to take middle school English again. Picture that: big old me sitting at tiny desk with little people way smarter than me. *sigh*

Anyhow. After scavenging through many websites, I found a very concise explanation from Purdue.edu -

"Lay" is a verb meaning to put or place something somewhere.It takes a direct object. Its principal parts are "lay," "laid," "laid," and "laying."

Examples: Every day I lay the book on the table. Yesterday I laid the book on the table. I have laid the book on the table many times.I am laying the book on the table right now.

In all these examples, the verb is a form of the word "lay," and the direct object is "book."

"Lie" is, in this context, a verb meaning to recline. It does not take an object. Its principal parts are "lie," "lay," "lain," and "lying."

Examples: Every night I lie down. I lay down last night. I have lain down many times. I am lying down right now.

If you're in doubt about whether to use "lay" or "lie," try substituting a form of the verb "place." If it makes sense, use a form of "lay."

...

So, print out the examples above and practice using the words! I'd suggest taking the sentence you're struggling with in your manuscript, and see if you can't match it to one of the sentences above to figure out the correct part of lay or lie you should use. :)

Good luck (to us all)!!

Have a great weekend.